When Animals Get Educated: A Degree in Barking!
What happens when animals infiltrate the education system? That’s exactly what we’re diving into today! We’re uncovering the ridiculous yet fascinating world of pets that have somehow earned diplomas, from cats with MBAs to dogs with medical degrees. I mean, if a pug can snag an MBA, maybe we should all rethink our student loans, right? We also share some chuckles with a new segment called "Make Me Laugh," where I test out jokes submitted by you guys—fair warning, my laughter gauge might be a bit skewed! Plus, I’ll catch you up on my recent adventures, including a chaotic bank holiday trip to a farm that turned out to be more of a playground than a petting zoo. So grab your headphones and prepare for a wild ride through the world of overqualified animals and my own not-so-glamorous car troubles!
Keywords:
animals in education, animals with diplomas, funny animal stories, diploma mills, animal qualifications, pet degrees, humorous podcast, education and pets, comedy podcast, animal antics, varifocal glasses, transition lenses, family day out, go-karting with kids, farm attractions, kids activities, car troubles, funny driving stories, pet certifications, educational pets
Transcript
What happens when animals infiltrate the education system?
Speaker A:Did my new glasses ever arrive?
Speaker A:What did I do on Bank Holiday Monday?
Speaker A:What the hell is wrong with my car?
Speaker A:For answers to questions such as these, stay tuned to that's a Freebie.
Speaker A:Sit back, relax.
Speaker A:Unless you're driving, it's time for that's a Freebie.
Speaker A:I'm going to start opening the show with a new section.
Speaker A:This new section is called Make Me Laugh.
Speaker A:You've probably already worked out what it's about.
Speaker A:The whole point is you send me jokes and I will read those jokes out and see if they make me laugh.
Speaker A:I will probably have to read said jokes out beforehand so that I can make sure they're safe to go on the podcast.
Speaker A:So I think it's.
Speaker A:It's safe to say that the only caveat for the jokes are they must be clean or at least, you know, edgy at worse, so that they're suitable to read out on the podcast.
Speaker A:I don't mind the length of the joke.
Speaker A:Surprise me.
Speaker A:It's absolutely fine.
Speaker A:This week I've got a joke that I've brought to the table because obviously nobody knew to do this yet, right?
Speaker A:A rough and tough cowboy finishes drink at the bar and gets up to leave.
Speaker A:A minute later he comes back saying with a mean look in his eye, I've got to sit down and have one more drink.
Speaker A:And if my horse isn't back where I left it, I'm going to have to do what I done in Texas.
Speaker A:And I really don't want to do what I did back in Texas.
Speaker A:And true to his word, he sits down.
Speaker A:He orders another drink.
Speaker A:He sits in the silent bar and finishes his drink.
Speaker A:He gets up and he walks outside.
Speaker A:Sure enough, his horse is back, tied up where he left it.
Speaker A:And just as he's about to ride off, one of the other patrons timidly asks, mister, what was it you had to do in Texas?
Speaker A:And the cowboy gets a far off look in his eyes and he sadly says, I had to walk home.
Speaker A:Yeah, right.
Speaker A:That almost made me laugh.
Speaker A:That made me titter.
Speaker A:See if you can beat that.
Speaker A:This week in Pod Tales, we're going to be looking at animals with diplomas.
Speaker A:When it comes to education, some animals are just ahead of the curve.
Speaker A:Or at least their owners are.
Speaker A:Over the years, various pets have managed to earn anything from high school diplomas to MBAs, often exposing the hilariously low standards of diploma mills.
Speaker A:From cats with business degrees to dogs with medical certifications, this is the story of how a bunch of unsuspecting Animals became more qualified than, well, most of us, really.
Speaker A:Colby Nolan, MBA.
Speaker A: In: Speaker A:His impressive resume included a working at a fast food restaurant, babysitting, and maintaining a newspaper route.
Speaker A:Pretty ambitious for a feline.
Speaker A:The Pennsylvania Attorney General's office, which orchestrated this undercover sting, used Colby's degree to successfully sue the university for fraud.
Speaker A:The lawsuit led to over a hundred thousand dollars in fines, proving that Colby wasn't just a fat cat.
Speaker A:He was a whistleblower.
Speaker A:George, who was a certified hypnotherapist.
Speaker A: In: Speaker A:His owner, BBC presenter Chris Jackson, wanted to expose the lack of oversight in these organizations.
Speaker A:George's credentials were quickly revoked, presumably before he could make anyone bark like a dog.
Speaker A:And then there's Henrietta, a certified nutritionist.
Speaker A:Dead for over a year, Henrietta the cat somehow managed to become a certified member of the American association of Nutritional consultants.
Speaker A:Her owner, Dr.
Speaker A:Ben Goldacre, paid $60 to highlight how meaningless the certification was, especially since Henrietta's diet consisted entirely of kibble.
Speaker A:And then There's Chester Ludlow, MBA.
Speaker A: In: Speaker A:He even received a certificate of distinction in finance, which is impressive, considering his only investment strategy was burying bones in the backyard.
Speaker A:And then the Sunny, who has a medical degree.
Speaker A: ee from Ashwood University in: Speaker A:It's probably for the best that he never opened a practice.
Speaker A:And then there is Lulu.
Speaker A:Lulu the dog received a degree from Concordia College, which turned out to be more legitimate than the NBA, held by an opposing witness in a legal case.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker A:Lulu's owner was a lawyer, proving that sometimes the best way to win a case is to bring out the big dogs.
Speaker A:Then there is the goldfish Algernon.
Speaker A: In: Speaker A:I can't keep it together now, at this point in the uk, Technically, Algernon spent his entire life swimming in his own waste, so it's not exactly a lie.
Speaker A:Maxwell Sniffingwell.
Speaker A:Maxwell, an English bulldog, earned a degree in animal reproduction from Belford University.
Speaker A:His owner, Dr.
Speaker A:Ben Mays, provided a glowing Resume that included experimental work with felines, which sounds suspiciously like chasing the neighbor's cat.
Speaker A:These cases weren't just for laughs.
Speaker A:Many of these animal degrees were part of investigations that led to legal action against diploma mills.
Speaker A:So the next time somebody tells you they have an mba, you might want to ask if their name is Chester Ludlow.
Speaker A:If nothing else, these stories prove that if a puck could get an mba, maybe it's time to reconsider those student loans.
Speaker A:So here's to the real heroes.
Speaker A:The cats, the dogs are one very qualified goldfish who helped expose shady institutions one diploma at a time.
Speaker A:Let's have a catch up, shall we?
Speaker A:If you recall, last we spoke, I was waiting on some glasses arriving.
Speaker A:Guess what happened?
Speaker A:They arrived on time, within about an hour of the podcast.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker A:You weren't expecting that, were you?
Speaker A:Was expecting me to have a story of how terrible the situation was.
Speaker A:Well, I'm really sorry, but it wasn't.
Speaker A:So you may even remember that there was something special about these glasses.
Speaker A:I was getting new transition lenses and I was getting very focused focals for the first time.
Speaker A:Yes, that is the type of exciting content you can expect on Vaza Freebie.
Speaker A:So how are the very focals going?
Speaker A:Pretty all right.
Speaker A:When I first put them on, I couldn't tell that they were any different at all.
Speaker A:Like I put them on and I thought, oh no, something's gone wrong.
Speaker A:I started moving my head up and down trying to look through the different sections of the glasses.
Speaker A:And I was of course stood in the middle of the living room with no like differentiating focal lengths around me.
Speaker A:Everything was like just constantly the same distance.
Speaker A:I had to wander into the kitchen.
Speaker A:I picked up a few tins from the cupboard and packets and stuff.
Speaker A:And sure enough, I.
Speaker A:I find if I look through the bottom part, it does, it becomes clearer.
Speaker A:I was expecting, I'll be honest, I was expecting a little bit more of a magnification than I'm getting.
Speaker A:But it actually turns out that I, I don't need the magnification.
Speaker A:It just needed to be clearer.
Speaker A:I've been able to read a lot of things that I couldn't normally read.
Speaker A:Even in my work life.
Speaker A:There's.
Speaker A:There's something I have to read quite often that's a bit too small for me to read.
Speaker A:Sometimes I have to take photos and stretch it out to be able to see it.
Speaker A:I've actually successful at reading it over the last week or so, so that's been quite good.
Speaker A:I did say, I think I mentioned on the podcast last week That I sprang for the like the higher end varifocals.
Speaker A:I would be interested to see what the lower end ones are like there just to see if it would have been a bigger difference.
Speaker A:I'm finding the.
Speaker A:The middle section at the top section of virtually the same.
Speaker A:Like I don't see much of a difference there, but that's what my site's like.
Speaker A:I think I struggle harder with.
Speaker A:With things close up and things on a computer screen.
Speaker A:So that's what the set to.
Speaker A:So they've been okay.
Speaker A:I do get a little bit of wobbly this every now and then if I like move my head side to side.
Speaker A:The screen in front of me seems to wobble because of the way the lenses are shaped.
Speaker A:But I've got used to it pretty quickly, so that was good.
Speaker A:I was worried that I was making a big mistake getting the varifocals, but actually they have been so much better than they were.
Speaker A:Now on to the transition part of the lenses.
Speaker A:I've pretty much always had transition lenses as far back as I can remember.
Speaker A:There was one pair, I think before the previous ones I had for these where I didn't get transition lenses and I regretted it.
Speaker A:I don't like swapping to sunglasses and it's just a pain.
Speaker A:It's a pain.
Speaker A:So anyway, I got these new transition lenses.
Speaker A:They are transition generation S which are quite new.
Speaker A:They've only released in the last few months, so I was hoping they'd be better than my previous ones and boy, are they better.
Speaker A:First of all, they seem a bit more reactive to light.
Speaker A:So they do.
Speaker A:They go dark quicker than my previous ones.
Speaker A:Although I didn't really have a problem with how quick my previous ones went dark.
Speaker A:So that's not a huge issue.
Speaker A:My previous ones, if there was even any hint of sunlight, like for example, where I'm sat now, there's.
Speaker A:There's a big window in front of me and the sun is shining through the window, but it's not directly in my face or anything like that.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's coming through a blind.
Speaker A:My other sunglasses would be completely dark at this point.
Speaker A:These have just got a very slight tinge to them, so they seem a little bit better in that respect.
Speaker A:They don't overreact, which is good.
Speaker A:If I was to walk outside, they would be fully dark within.
Speaker A:Within 10 seconds.
Speaker A:They're so fast.
Speaker A:They're amazing.
Speaker A:Like I said, I've got a red tinge to the lenses so they turn red just a little bit nicer.
Speaker A:It's nicer to look through everything looks dark and moody all the time.
Speaker A:Everything's got a nice little pink hue to it, I suppose, or a pinky ready hue.
Speaker A:But the absolute best part of them is the speed in which they go back.
Speaker A:Now they say on their website that it takes two minutes for them to go back.
Speaker A:So for comparison, they say for my, my previous generation that they usually take up to 10 minutes to go back to fully clear.
Speaker A:In my experience it's more like 15.
Speaker A:It really, I've timed it several times.
Speaker A:It takes such a long time.
Speaker A:Even 10 minutes is a long time.
Speaker A:The problem I have always had is I would be outside in the sun and we might need to go into a shop to buy Summit.
Speaker A:You walk into a shop and the shop's dark, like unless it's a supermarket, but not often that well lit.
Speaker A:So yeah, you walk into a shop and it's so dark that I actually can't see anything.
Speaker A:So I end up to put the glasses on top of my head.
Speaker A:Before I know it, we're outside in a shop again.
Speaker A:And I haven't been able to see anything while I'm in there or read anything.
Speaker A:You know, if I need to read instructions or packaging or anything like that.
Speaker A:I've not been able to do any of that.
Speaker A:And then if you're at the county, you can tell that people think, oh, you won't even take your sunglasses off.
Speaker A:I'm like, well, the prescription.
Speaker A:Because that's how I feel.
Speaker A:That's what I think.
Speaker A:I think it's very rude that they're not taking the sunglasses off.
Speaker A:These ones so advertised to turn fully clear within two minutes.
Speaker A:Up to now it's been like a minute every single time.
Speaker A:They are amazing.
Speaker A:I can't believe how quickly they turn back.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's bizarre.
Speaker A:It's really bizarre because I don't even see them turning back.
Speaker A:I just sort of got oh for clear again.
Speaker A:It's really weird.
Speaker A:So yeah, I could fully, fully recommend the new generation S transition lenses.
Speaker A:I had a really weird situation happen to me the other day.
Speaker A:I'm.
Speaker A:I'm sat in my car waiting to drive off to go and pick my wife up from work and what should happen but two kids ride past me on bikes.
Speaker A:Well, they are actually.
Speaker A:They were sat at the side of me on the bikes and then they set off.
Speaker A:So I set off behind them.
Speaker A:But you know what kids are like on bikes.
Speaker A:They are paying no attention half of the time.
Speaker A:So they're, they're not really realizing that I'm behind them, which is a bit of a problem because I'd like them to acknowledge that I'm behind them so that I know they're not going to do anything stupid.
Speaker A:But they don't.
Speaker A:So they carry on riding down the road.
Speaker A:So I pulled right back.
Speaker A:I was.
Speaker A:I was a fair distance away.
Speaker A:Enough that, you know, if one of them suddenly decided they were going to randomly stop, there's no way I'm hitting them.
Speaker A:One of them turns around and sees me, which is great.
Speaker A:So he moves across to the side.
Speaker A:Does it think to mention to his mate that there's a car behind him?
Speaker A:But he moves off to the side.
Speaker A:His mate's driving down the road.
Speaker A:It's a fairly long road, so we're going for like.
Speaker A:We're probably driving for about 30 seconds at this point, which feels like an eternity when he's stuck behind somebody.
Speaker A:I'm thinking, could I take over?
Speaker A:Probably couldn't.
Speaker A:I'd probably startle him.
Speaker A:I'm looking at him, but I think he's not even looking where he's going.
Speaker A:He wasn't on a phone or anything.
Speaker A:He was literally just staring into the sky like there was nothing up there and there was no plane, there was no helicopter.
Speaker A:He was just gone.
Speaker A:He wasn't paying any attention whatsoever.
Speaker A:And sure enough, he drove straight into the back of a car that was parked up at the side of the road.
Speaker A:Well, it wasn't even the back.
Speaker A:It was this.
Speaker A:It was the front wing on the driver's side.
Speaker A:It was parked up and he just hit it, hit the wheel that was sticking out a bit on this car, flipped over.
Speaker A:His bike went flying.
Speaker A:He went flying.
Speaker A:He landed flat on his back on the floor.
Speaker A:I was like, oh, God.
Speaker A:So I stopped.
Speaker A:His mate starts laughing at him.
Speaker A:He's la.
Speaker A:Completely still in the middle of the road.
Speaker A:I was like, oh, no, this doesn't look good.
Speaker A:He's lay completely still in the road.
Speaker A:His mate's laughing his head off.
Speaker A:His mates at this point now stopped right at the side of my car.
Speaker A:So I can't open my car door because he's laughing.
Speaker A:So I looked up at him and I went, are you going to go and help him?
Speaker A:And he went, no.
Speaker A:And then just drove off.
Speaker A:He just rode off into the night.
Speaker A:Just bogged off right in the corner.
Speaker A:I couldn't believe it.
Speaker A:So then I'm like, oh, okay.
Speaker A:So I get sides of my car to go and help him.
Speaker A:And another car came around the corner at the bottom of the street.
Speaker A:They stopped and they got out and were like, are you okay?
Speaker A:He's like, yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
Speaker A:He was the most gobless kid I've ever met.
Speaker A:He's going, yeah, I'm all right.
Speaker A:I don't know what happened.
Speaker A:Like, you drove into a car?
Speaker A:And he's like, oh, right.
Speaker A:So I'm like, come on, let's move your bike.
Speaker A:So I picked his bike up, and then I realized when it hit me, the people in the other car probably thought I'd run him over because it absolutely looked like I just flattened this kid.
Speaker A:So I'm looking at him going, I didn't run him over.
Speaker A:They're like, yeah, okay.
Speaker A:Like, no, no, no, I didn't.
Speaker A:He drove into that car.
Speaker A:The alarm's going off on the other car as well.
Speaker A:At this point, I'm like, he drove into that car.
Speaker A:Nobody's coming out to this alarm.
Speaker A:I'm like, oh, my God, what's going on?
Speaker A:So he goes over to the side of the road.
Speaker A:I dragged his bike off the.
Speaker A:Off the.
Speaker A:Out of the road.
Speaker A:He.
Speaker A:He seemed fine.
Speaker A:Like, just fell off his bike more than anything, but he didn't seem to care.
Speaker A:He pulls his phone, texting.
Speaker A:I'm looking at him, and I realized he's opening up Snapchat.
Speaker A:I'm like, so anyway, in the end, I went, right, you're okay then, aren't you?
Speaker A:And I looked at the other people.
Speaker A:I went, right, I'll move my car so you can go past.
Speaker A:They're like, yeah, all right.
Speaker A:You could tell me.
Speaker A:They were just like, I don't know what's going on with this kid now?
Speaker A:So, yeah, we all got in our cars and drove off.
Speaker A:He wasn't there when I got back.
Speaker A:So he was clearly okay.
Speaker A:Yeah, weird kid drove into a car and made it look like I hit him.
Speaker A:I swear, I did not hit that kid.
Speaker A:Something I never thought I'd say.
Speaker A:What did we do for bank holiday?
Speaker A:We went on a trip to Wheelock Farm.
Speaker A:I'd never heard of it before in my life.
Speaker A:My wife found it on some sort of social media.
Speaker A:One of them, she said, let's go there.
Speaker A:I was looking at the pictures and thinking, it doesn't look that exciting.
Speaker A:On the website, it says we have gardens, and it's a picture of a flower really close up, so you can't see the rest of the gardens.
Speaker A:It says we have animals, and it's a picture of a pig.
Speaker A:And I'm like, well, it's a farm.
Speaker A:So, yeah, farm animals, right?
Speaker A:You only need a picture of a pig to denote that.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:That's fine.
Speaker A:Except we have go karts and it had a picture of an empty go kart track.
Speaker A:Seriously, an empty go kart track.
Speaker A:So you couldn't see what type of go karts they were.
Speaker A:And the girl has been asking to go on go karts for a while.
Speaker A:So we're like, okay.
Speaker A:She's.
Speaker A:She's been asking to go on go karts since I broke my wrist.
Speaker A:So obviously I've not been able to take her on go karts because, well, you know, don't want to damage myself anymore.
Speaker A:So we thought, oh, perfect opportunity.
Speaker A:You know, it says the go karts are only for kids, so it'd be fine.
Speaker A:The adults don't need to go on them.
Speaker A:They'll be able to manage them.
Speaker A:It won't be an issue.
Speaker A:So we took the trip.
Speaker A:Takes about 40 minutes from where we are to get there.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:Can't actually remember where it is.
Speaker A:I just followed the satnav.
Speaker A:It's Cheshire way somewhere.
Speaker A:So it's somewhere in Cheshire.
Speaker A:It's worth going to.
Speaker A:It's really good.
Speaker A:I think the things that stood out to me is, first of all, you can't book before you go, which is fine.
Speaker A:Don't have a problem with that.
Speaker A:In fact, if anything, I kind of prefer that because it means you can just rock up and go whenever you want.
Speaker A:The only drawback is there was quite a queue to get in this place.
Speaker A:We didn't even arrive at opening time.
Speaker A:We were about an hour and a half to two hours after opening time and we queued for a good.
Speaker A:I think it was about 20 minutes to get in.
Speaker A:Maybe it wasn't that long.
Speaker A:It felt like it, but either way, long queue.
Speaker A:Long queue.
Speaker A:You can't take a picnic in.
Speaker A:It's worth noting that there is a picnic area outside it, but you can't take picnics into there.
Speaker A:Again, wasn't a problem for us because we didn't take a picnic.
Speaker A:We were planning on eating in the cafe and there are far less animals than I would have expected.
Speaker A:So there was a couple of horses, a donkey, some chickens, some goats, and I think that was it.
Speaker A:It looked like there could have been more at some point.
Speaker A:Hard to tell, 100.
Speaker A:But there was a whole place right at the back that had, you know, where the.
Speaker A:The animals would stay indoors.
Speaker A:And there was clearly more space than what they had animals, so.
Speaker A:Oh, they had some.
Speaker A:They had some geese as well.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:Was it geese?
Speaker A:Yeah, it was geese.
Speaker A:We had some geese as well, so yeah, if you go in there for the animals, you'd probably be better to going somewhere like T park or.
Speaker A:Because they have a good farm or.
Speaker A:Oh, what's that other one called?
Speaker A:Smithel's farm.
Speaker A:Yes, I said it correctly.
Speaker A:Yeah, I have a history of pronouncing that one incorrectly, but I said it right that time.
Speaker A:I even thought about it before I did.
Speaker A:Now, there might have been a lot of animals, but what there was a lot of is play.
Speaker A:There was a lot of things to do for the kids.
Speaker A:We were there all day.
Speaker A:It cost us about, I think it was about 35 pounds for us all to go in and it was absolutely worth it regardless of the animals.
Speaker A:There were I think five separate parks inside this place.
Speaker A:You could, I mean you could, you could argue that they're all one big park, but they were separated into different areas.
Speaker A:So you go in and there's immediately a, a full on park.
Speaker A:You know, swings, roundabouts, the whole lot.
Speaker A:And it's massive.
Speaker A:It's got a zip line.
Speaker A:It's brilliant.
Speaker A:At the side of there's a.
Speaker A:There's another park for smaller children.
Speaker A:We didn't go on that.
Speaker A:So I can't really remember what was on there.
Speaker A:A little bit further up the hill, if you go there, you'll realize what I mean by up the H.
Speaker A:But a little bit further up the hill there's like a.
Speaker A:The only way I could describe it is a tube maze.
Speaker A:It's just a whole bunch of plastic tubes that are, that have all been put together to create a maze and they've got transparent domes on top of them.
Speaker A:It's clearly purpose built.
Speaker A:It's not, they've just got a lot of tubing.
Speaker A:It's clearly purpose built.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's really, really good.
Speaker A:But then a little bit further along they've got like a little assault coast thing with loads of slides on it.
Speaker A:Like really tall slides, like a tubular slide that you slide down and it's you inside a tube.
Speaker A:But then they' got giant inflatable pillows.
Speaker A:So think trampolines that look like pillows.
Speaker A:That's the easiest way to describe it.
Speaker A:And half of the pillow is buried under the ground.
Speaker A:And it's the material of a bouncy castle.
Speaker A:So it's a bouncy castle mixed with a trampoline mixed with a pillow buried in the ground.
Speaker A:And the kids just bounce on it like crazy.
Speaker A:They probably spent more time on that than they did anything else.
Speaker A:It was, it was really, really good.
Speaker A:Surrounded by sand so they could build Little sandcastles if they wanted to.
Speaker A:I don't think anyone really did, to be honest, but they could have done it was there as an option.
Speaker A:It was really, really good.
Speaker A:We spent all day playing it there.
Speaker A:And then just when we thought it's time to eat something.
Speaker A:Let's go over to the, to the area over there that looks like it's the cafe.
Speaker A:It wasn't.
Speaker A:We went inside and it's another play area.
Speaker A:I couldn't believe it.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:This is a ginormous play area.
Speaker A:So inside this one there's, there's a whole like climbing set.
Speaker A:You know, like you get in a play center, it's that kind of thing.
Speaker A:But it's, it's honestly massive.
Speaker A:It's an old converted barn.
Speaker A:It's enormous.
Speaker A:It's got little different activities in there.
Speaker A:The only thing that it didn't have enough of was seating for the adults.
Speaker A:And there were hundreds of adults crammed into this room.
Speaker A:There was enough room for everybody, but there just wasn't enough seats for everybody.
Speaker A:So a lot of people were just stood around.
Speaker A:You'd have like a family sat at a table.
Speaker A:And then at the side of that family you'd have another family waiting for that family to get up and move.
Speaker A:And then at the side of that family you'd have another family waiting for that family to wait for the other family to sit down so that they could then move along and sit down.
Speaker A:And at the side of that family to be another family waiting for that family to wait for that family to move so that that family can then move into where that family was satisfied.
Speaker A:That.
Speaker A:And I think that made sense.
Speaker A:I'm not too sure, but it made sense in my head.
Speaker A:There were so many people.
Speaker A:It was a bank holiday, so maybe that's why.
Speaker A:But it was so busy.
Speaker A:There was everywhere.
Speaker A:So yeah, that wasn't even the food place.
Speaker A:So then we decided to go to the cafe to get some food.
Speaker A:And it was about 1 o'clock that we decided it's probably a good time to go and get some food.
Speaker A:Now we queued for about an hour and 20 minutes just to get to the counter to order the food.
Speaker A:And then there's a sign on the counter which you can't get to from the outside because the queue is so big and the doorway is so small you can't see into the cafeteria.
Speaker A:And then there's a sign on the cafeteria that says there's currently a 30 to 40 minute wait for food.
Speaker A:Now granted, we ordered the food and we actually didn't wait that long.
Speaker A:It seemed it.
Speaker A:It felt like.
Speaker A:I think.
Speaker A:Well, I think it was about 15 to 20 minutes.
Speaker A:The only complaints I have with the food, and this is a me thing I understand, is I ordered a hamburger with chips.
Speaker A:The chips were proper, like, cut from potatoes, homemade chips.
Speaker A:Amazing.
Speaker A:The hamburger, however, was described as a hamburger with caramelized onions.
Speaker A:So that's why I got one of the caramelized onions.
Speaker A:Why would you not get caramelized onions?
Speaker A:So it's Hamburg with caramelized onions.
Speaker A:I sat down, they brought it over, I bit into the hamburger and it couldn't have been any more smothered in mayonnaise.
Speaker A:If they tried, they literally, they.
Speaker A:They smothered mayonnaise over the bottom part of the bun and the top part of the bum.
Speaker A:It was coated in it.
Speaker A:Nowhere did it say they were going to put mayonnaise on it.
Speaker A:Usually I would ask as well.
Speaker A:I was so annoyed at myself because it was such a big queue and everything was busy when we got there.
Speaker A:I didn't think to ask.
Speaker A:So I was so, so annoyed at myself.
Speaker A:So I.
Speaker A:Unfortunately, you didn't get to eat that.
Speaker A:I only had the chips.
Speaker A:Usually I would.
Speaker A:I would go back and say, look, I don't want mayonnaise on this.
Speaker A:But I didn't give them the opportunity to.
Speaker A:To tell me it did.
Speaker A:So I felt a bit wrong doing that, to be honest.
Speaker A:It wasn't their fault.
Speaker A:It was my fault for not asking the question.
Speaker A:Although, you know, lots of places do this.
Speaker A:They don't write everything that's on the product.
Speaker A:They don't write that there's mayonnaise on it.
Speaker A:What they do is they stick a big sign up saying, if you've got any allergies, please speak to us.
Speaker A:I wouldn't expect you to put mayonnaise on anything unless I asked for it.
Speaker A:That's my only complaint.
Speaker A:I would absolutely go, though.
Speaker A:It was brilliant.
Speaker A:It was absolutely brilliant.
Speaker A:The kids loved it.
Speaker A:We loved it.
Speaker A:The only other complaint.
Speaker A:So the.
Speaker A:The complaints currently are I didn't ask about the food properly.
Speaker A:It was so busy.
Speaker A:I cannot describe how busy it was.
Speaker A:It wasn't like, you know, theme park busy, but it was.
Speaker A:It was very busy for a.
Speaker A:For a little farm.
Speaker A:But it only affected it when you wanted to get food or if you needed to sit down, like, you could go and sit down outside, not a problem.
Speaker A:But that was the only time it actually affected anything.
Speaker A:My only other complaint were the reason we went was the go kart.
Speaker A:So we got there and the go Karts were actually just pedal go karts.
Speaker A:We were expecting proper go karts.
Speaker A:Maybe that's on us.
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker A:But, you know, you say go karts, you don't expect them to be pedal ones, especially when they show you a picture of an actual track.
Speaker A:The track was great, but the go karts were pedal go karts, and nearly every one of them was broken.
Speaker A:So the parents were just pushing them around, sticking the kids in it and pushing them around the thing.
Speaker A:And again, there was just no process like it.
Speaker A:Yeah, we're British.
Speaker A:We like to key for things.
Speaker A:But what was happening here is, is kids were just standing at the side of the track waiting for someone to get off a go kart and then they had to run.
Speaker A:It was whoever got there first, basically, because us as parents are like kids.
Speaker A:You've arrived.
Speaker A:Just remember that person, that person and that person were here before you.
Speaker A:So you need to make sure you wait for them to go.
Speaker A:Once they've gone, it's your turn to go.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Whereas other parents were walking up and going, go, run, run.
Speaker A:Get on that go kart now run.
Speaker A:And so, yeah, they could have done.
Speaker A:I honestly think if they'd have just put a little section up that says queue here for the go karts, people would have done it.
Speaker A:It makes it easier.
Speaker A:The kids don't want to push it.
Speaker A:The kids have no idea.
Speaker A:They're just doing what the parents tell them to do.
Speaker A:So what the hell is wrong with my car?
Speaker A:The reason I asked this is this morning I'm driving back from school and I could hear a strange noise.
Speaker A:Is the only way I can describe it.
Speaker A:Like.
Speaker A:Like a crackling noise.
Speaker A:And at first I thought it was in the podcast that I was listening to.
Speaker A:And of course I'm listening to this podcast.
Speaker A:In my hearing, I didn't suspect in any way, shape or form that the sound could have been coming from outside of the recording I was listening to.
Speaker A:And I eventually started to realize that it was.
Speaker A:So I paused the audio I was listening to and I started listening it said it just like electrical spark.
Speaker A:And I was like, oh, no.
Speaker A:It seemed to be coming from over where the passenger door was.
Speaker A:So I thought maybe it's the speaker in the door.
Speaker A:Like a.
Speaker A:Wires come loose and it's like.
Speaker A:Like catching and discatching.
Speaker A:Dis.
Speaker A:Catching.
Speaker A:Disconnecting.
Speaker A:But then I realized that the radio isn't on, so that doesn't seem likely.
Speaker A:So I turned the radio on and that sounded fine.
Speaker A:So I did.
Speaker A:Absolutely perfect.
Speaker A:So I turned the radio back Off.
Speaker A:And I'm, I'm listening and I'm thinking, well, it's definitely electrical, that sound.
Speaker A:I don't know what the hell's going on there.
Speaker A:And it was sounding like a lot of sparking.
Speaker A:And I'm driving along and I was like, I need to pull over and find out what that is.
Speaker A:And then I pulled over, but I was at a set of traffic lights at this point and the person in the, on the, in the lane next to me started waving at me like frantically.
Speaker A:And I was like.
Speaker A:I immediately thought, oh no, what's gone on?
Speaker A:So I press the button to wind the window down and she goes, there's a wire hanging out the side of your car and it's making sparks as it touches the road.
Speaker A:I was like, what?
Speaker A:Okay, thanks for letting me know.
Speaker A:I put the window back up.
Speaker A:I waited for the lights to turn and I immediately drove off and turned into a car park thinking, oh God, what could this be?
Speaker A:And I got out the car and ran around the other side and it was, it was a charging wire for an iPhone.
Speaker A:It was, it was my wife's wire that she has on that side of the car for charging her phone.
Speaker A:It had just fallen out of the.
Speaker A:I think she hadn't wrapped it up properly basically.
Speaker A:So I picked it up and I think what it had been doing, it wasn't sparking as in like it was an electrical spark, because that just doesn't seem likely.
Speaker A:It's more that the metal was scraping along the floor and causing little like sparks as it's hitting the floor.
Speaker A:So, yeah, there's nothing wrong with my car.
Speaker A:Thank God.
Speaker A:Thank God.
Speaker A:Because I was absolutely terrified that there was going to be a problem with my car.
Speaker A:This week I received an email from listener Mike says, diggy, I can't believe nobody's asked you this age old question yet, but Pepsi v Coke?
Speaker A:Yeah, I don't think I have been asked that question before.
Speaker A:Pepsi v Coke is a difficult, difficult question to answer because I like both.
Speaker A:I know that's, that's considered blasphemy in some circles, but no, I do like both.
Speaker A:So I think overall I prefer Coke.
Speaker A:There is just a, a slight difference to the taste that I, I do actually prefer, however, I really like Cherry Pepsi or Cherry Pepsi Max, I suppose.
Speaker A:I don't think they do a non max version.
Speaker A:I think that's my favorite out of all of them is Cherry Pepsi.
Speaker A:But if I was not getting the cherry variety, I would probably be getting Coke.
Speaker A:On the flip side of that, you know where you go to places that have the machines that have the different flavors in them.
Speaker A:I really like Strawberry Pepsi as well.
Speaker A:Strawberry Pepsi is very nice.
Speaker A:And I actually also just remembered when I was, when I was younger, me and one of my cousins, I don't know why, but we were really into the Pepsi vs Coke debate and we, we used to call ourselves the Pepsi Kids.
Speaker A:Wow, that's such.
Speaker A:So weird.
Speaker A:I'd forgotten about that.
Speaker A:It just popped back into my head.
Speaker A:This is the same cousin that I did the, the Danger Brothers thing with.
Speaker A:Let me just do a quick search and see if I can find out which episode that was in.
Speaker A:How do I search?
Speaker A:I can't remember.
Speaker A:There it is.
Speaker A:It was in the Schuylkill Notes episode.
Speaker A:So episode 67.
Speaker A:It was actually though only available for members.
Speaker A:So you would have to go back and listen to that as a member because yeah, I'm not, I'm not repeating that on the main show.
Speaker A:That is something that is exclusive for members.
Speaker A:But yeah, if you want to hear me make a fool out of myself, feel free to go back and have a listen to that.
Speaker A:It's probably a good time actually to mention that you can join Vats a freebie Bats a freebie plus gives you a whole extra section at the end of the show.
Speaker A:It's four pound a month.
Speaker A:It gives you access to any specials that I make.
Speaker A:It gives you access to the members Discord and it gives you the opportunity to say that you supported a brand new up and coming show.
Speaker A:When I'm the next big thing you can say, well I was there from the start.
Speaker A:That is everything for the main show from this week.
Speaker A:Don't forget that.
Speaker A:You can head over to Fluxo Media to see all of my stuff including links to all my social media accounts and there is a link on there to join my Patreon which gives you access to.
Speaker A:That's a freebie plus.
Speaker A:I will see you all next week.
