Surgery Tales & Emu Fails: A Wild Ride
We're diving into the hilariously bizarre world of the Emu War, where Australia took on a feathered foe that turned out to be tougher than expected. That’s right, 20,000 emus wreaked havoc on wheat farms, and in a case of misjudged bravado, the military was called in to save the day armed with machine guns and a plan that quickly spiraled into chaos. From guerrilla tactics executed by the emus to the military’s disastrous attempts at ambush, the story unfolds like a comedy of errors that leaves us both puzzled and amused. Alongside this absurd historical escapade, I’ll also share my recent wrist surgery saga and sprinkle in some gems of wisdom from children that are sure to tickle your funny bone. So, sit back, relax, and let’s explore the lessons from this wild chapter in history and some light-hearted moments from life!
If you want even more then head to fluxo.media to see all my stuff and join That’s A Free Bee Plus.
For only £4 a month you get:
- The members only feed, This includes the Pre Show and the Post Show, both include extra content that’s not in the final show.
- First access to specials.
- Members only discord.
- You get to be one of the first to support a new upand coming show, when I’m the next big thing you can say “I was there from the start” 🤣
Keywords for YouTube:
Emu War, Australian history, absurd military conflicts, emu facts, military failures, Great Depression Australia, farming challenges, humor in history, bizarre wars, children’s wisdom, surgery recovery, wrist surgery, machine guns in history, guerrilla tactics, Australian wildlife, historical anecdotes, military operations, humorous podcast episodes, parenting advice, health and recovery tips
Transcript
Welcome to episode 83 of that's a Freebie.
Speaker A:This week I'm going to be doing a deep dive into the great Emu War.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, you heard that right.
Speaker A:I'm also going to talk about some surgery that I recently had, and I've got some words of wisdom from children and you'll see when we get there.
Speaker A:All that and a little bit more coming up on that's a Freebie.
Speaker A:Sit back, relax.
Speaker A:Unless you're driving, it's time for that's a freebie.
Speaker A: In: Speaker A:The enemy emus.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, you heard that right.
Speaker A:20,000 of them.
Speaker A:The battlefield, the wheat farms of Western Australia.
Speaker A:Armed with machine guns and 10,000 rounds of ammunition, the Australian military set out to deal with the emu menace.
Speaker A:And, well, it didn't go as planned.
Speaker A:After World War I, Australia granted farmland to veterans who weren't exactly experienced in agriculture.
Speaker A:Things went from bad to worse during the Great Depression, and just when the farmers fought, it couldn't get any worse.
Speaker A:A horde of emus showed up.
Speaker A:These flightless birds ate crops, trampled fences, and generally behaved like a feathery biker gang, terrorizing the countryside.
Speaker A:The farmers, desperate and probably half joking, asked the government to send in the military.
Speaker A:And in what might be history's worst example of taking a joke seriously, the Minister of Defense agreed.
Speaker A:And so the battle begins.
Speaker A:Armed with two Lewis machine guns and 10,000 rounds of ammunition, Major GPW Meredith and his men set off to take care of the birds.
Speaker A:The plan?
Speaker A:Wait for a group of emus to approach and then mow them down.
Speaker A:The result?
Speaker A:Absolute chaos.
Speaker A:On November 2, the soldiers encountered about 50 EMUs.
Speaker A:But EMUs, as it turns out, and not only fast, but also annoyingly good at guerrilla tactics, they split into small groups and scattered, making it nearly impossible to hit them.
Speaker A:In the first skirmish, only a dozen Emus were killed.
Speaker A:Two days later, the soldiers found a thousand emus near a dam and decided this was their moment.
Speaker A:They set up an ambush, waited for the birds to get close and open fire, and click, click.
Speaker A:The machine gun jammed after 12 EMUs were down, and the rest fled before any more shots could be fired.
Speaker A:Meanwhile, the emus started picking leaders.
Speaker A:Tall, black plumed birds that watched for danger like feathery generals.
Speaker A:In a move that was either genius or utterly insane, the soldiers mounted a machine gun on a truck to chase the emus down.
Speaker A:This plan failed.
Speaker A:Spectacular.
Speaker A:Then it turned out that trucks don't do well off road.
Speaker A:And firing a machine gun from a bouncing vehicle is about as accurate as throwing darts while riding a roller coaster.
Speaker A:I swear to God, I'm not making any of this up.
Speaker A: After six days,: Speaker A:Either way, it's not enough to dent an army of 20,000 birds.
Speaker A:On November 8, the government pulled the plug on the operation.
Speaker A:The soldiers withdrew, tails between their legs.
Speaker A:Major Meredith, clearly impressed by the enemy, remarked that if the Australian military had a division of emus, it could probably take on any army in the world.
Speaker A:So you think it'd end there, right?
Speaker A:But no, there was a second attempt, because, you know, why not?
Speaker A:A few days later, after the emus continued to rampage through crops, the military gave it another go.
Speaker A:This time they killed 986 EMUs using nearly 10, 000 rounds, an average of 10 bullets per.
Speaker A:Word of the emu war spread around the world, with British newspapers accusing Australia of attempting to exterminate the rare emu.
Speaker A:Farmers continued to request military help in later years, but were politely told to deal with it themselves.
Speaker A:A bounty system was introduced and farmers ended up claiming over 57,000 bounties in six months, proving that maybe regular old hunting rifles were more effective than machine guns after all.
Speaker A:Despite the catastrophic failure, the Yemi War has become a beloved part of Australian history.
Speaker A: In: Speaker A:Because if you can't beat him, you might as well make a movie out of it.
Speaker A:The emu war serves as a reminder that no matter how tough you think you are, there's always a bird somewhere ready to humble you.
Speaker A:In the end, the emus won not just the battle, but also the right to be one of the most bizarre chapters in military history.
Speaker A:As always, if you would like to submit your own topics for potales, all you need to do is go to Flu media dot com.
Speaker A:No, that's not right at all.
Speaker A:You go to Fluxo Media.
Speaker A:I don't know why I still say that.
Speaker A:So that's Fluxo me D I A and there's a form on there.
Speaker A:You can fill it out and you can say, I'd like to suggest this topic for pot tails.
Speaker A:Let's have a catch up then.
Speaker A:Since we last spoke, I had surgery on my wrist.
Speaker A:I can't remember if the last time we spoke I knew I needed surgery or not.
Speaker A:My memory isn't quite there.
Speaker A:I should probably have gone back and listened at the start, just to be sure, but essentially, as you all know, broke my wrist.
Speaker A:Ice skating.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Stupid thing to do.
Speaker A:We're over it now, or at least I am, anyway.
Speaker A:So the bone basically wasn't healing.
Speaker A:What happened is the top part of the bone that had broken away had started to slide down my arm.
Speaker A:So it was about halfway down my arm.
Speaker A:So they had to kind of, essentially they had to bolt it in place.
Speaker A:So I've now got a metal plate in my arm holding the.
Speaker A:The bone together.
Speaker A:It hurts quite a lot.
Speaker A:Although, you know, it's been.
Speaker A:It's been a week now.
Speaker A:It's not been quite a week.
Speaker A:It was last Friday that I had it done and I don't even know what day it is today.
Speaker A:It's Thursday, it'll be a week tomorrow.
Speaker A:It was an interesting experience.
Speaker A:I've never had surgery like that before, not that I could recall anymore.
Speaker A:Maybe when I was younger, I did.
Speaker A:I did have a couple of surgeries when I was younger, but I don't really recall them that much.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:I had to go in in the morning, I had to fast overnight.
Speaker A:And during that, during that day, this.
Speaker A:The surgery was scheduled for about an hour.
Speaker A:It took three hours.
Speaker A:In the end, it turned out to be a lot more complicated than they thought it was going to be once they were in there.
Speaker A:Initially, the plan was to put a pin in through the outside of the skin.
Speaker A:So basically go in through the skin, put a pin through the bone and then pin it to the boat next to it to hold it in place.
Speaker A:It turned out that they couldn't do that because of the way it had broken.
Speaker A:So they had to fully cut my wrist open, pull the bones back into place, and then they've put a titanium plate in there and then bolted that to the bones to hold everything together whilst it heals.
Speaker A:So, yeah, that was interesting.
Speaker A:I was fully knocked out for the whole thing, which was good.
Speaker A:So obviously I did.
Speaker A:I didn't feel anything at all.
Speaker A:I did.
Speaker A:I couldn't.
Speaker A:I couldn't even feel my arm afterwards.
Speaker A:So the way they did the anesthesia is I.
Speaker A:I was.
Speaker A:I was knocked out, completely asleep.
Speaker A:But they also put three nerve blockers in that they essentially, they inject into your arm into a nerve cluster in your elbow in three different spots, and it completely numbs the arm downwards.
Speaker A:Like you can't feel anything.
Speaker A:I couldn't feel anything for a couple of days afterwards in my hand, my arm or anything.
Speaker A:I still had to take the pain medication because I could still feel the pain.
Speaker A:But I like.
Speaker A:It was completely numb.
Speaker A:You know, like when you fall asleep on your arm and you wake up and you.
Speaker A:You can't feel anything.
Speaker A:It was like that for two solid days.
Speaker A:I've started to get the feeling back in my hand now.
Speaker A:There's two fingers that I can't feel.
Speaker A:That's not entirely accurate.
Speaker A:I can't feel my little finger and I can tell that there's some numbness to the finger next to it and the tip of my thumb.
Speaker A:There's no feeling in that either at the moment.
Speaker A:So I'm essentially just waiting for the feeling to come back and for.
Speaker A:Well, for physio.
Speaker A:So I've.
Speaker A:I'm at the hospital again in a.
Speaker A:In a week.
Speaker A:Well, on Tuesday.
Speaker A:It's a little less than a week now, isn't it, this coming Tuesday, where they're going to do a check of the wound that I've got because I feel obviously had to cut me open.
Speaker A:So I'm gonna have a scar there, quite a big scar by the look of it, from what I.
Speaker A:From what I could see.
Speaker A:I haven't actually seen the whole thing myself yet, but I saw pictures of like they should be pictures of what they were going to do.
Speaker A:Like it wasn't me that the pictures were off, it was of a previous patient, but the same kind of thing.
Speaker A:So it should be interesting, but I haven't seen it yet.
Speaker A:My whole arm is in a.
Speaker A:Is in a cast or like a half cast.
Speaker A:So the bottom half of my harm is.
Speaker A:Is casted and then the rest is wrapped in bandages.
Speaker A:So I can't see the damage yet.
Speaker A:I could only feel it when I move.
Speaker A:I need to keep my arm still.
Speaker A:So it's in a sling most of the time.
Speaker A:If it's not in a sling, I have to keep it a, like, high above my heart and I have to keep it that way for several weeks.
Speaker A:Hopefully when I go on Tuesday, I get a smaller splint installed instead of the cast, which means I'll be able to have a little bit more movement of.
Speaker A:Freedom of movement.
Speaker A:Although I still won't be able to move my wrist.
Speaker A:Recovery is expected.
Speaker A:Good grief.
Speaker A:Sorry.
Speaker A:My throat is bad as well because I had to have a breathing tube in whilst I was having the.
Speaker A:Whilst I was having the surgery.
Speaker A:My throat still hurts from that and it's still a bit bruised, hence the coughing.
Speaker A:I've not got a cold or anything and just my throat gets dry quite quickly there.
Speaker A:Where was I?
Speaker A:I forgot where I was up to.
Speaker A:I Was, Yeah, yeah, gonna go and have to sprint.
Speaker A:Recovery should realistically take.
Speaker A:They've told me that it'll take about three months for the bone to actually, like, heal, but up to a year until I could get full strength back in my hand.
Speaker A:And I'll have to do physio for several months as well, which should start next week.
Speaker A:Or they'll at least outline the plan for physio next week.
Speaker A:I don't know if I could start the physio until the bones technically healed.
Speaker A:I'm not too sure, really.
Speaker A:I've had sort of mixed messages from different doctors about that, so I guess I'll.
Speaker A:I'll have an update for you on that in the next show.
Speaker A:I think that is the big update regarding Wristgate, which I've been calling it.
Speaker A:Should I call it Rink Gate because it was a hockey rink that I fell in?
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker A:Let me know if you could come up with some names for the incident.
Speaker A:Let me know.
Speaker A:I'll read about the show.
Speaker A:I am still in a lot of pain.
Speaker A:It really hurts.
Speaker A:Like, I can't even describe the way it hurts.
Speaker A:I've never broken a bone before, and I.
Speaker A:And I feel far more sympathy for anybody that's ever broken a bone, apparently, according to the surgeon that I had.
Speaker A:I mean, surgeons probably tell you anything.
Speaker A:I don't.
Speaker A:I don't really know if it's true, but the bone that I've broken is the worst one you can break from a pain perspective and from a recovery perspective.
Speaker A:So, yeah, take that for what you will.
Speaker A:I mean, I would have thought your collarbone would be worse, but apparently not.
Speaker A:I literally only have one hand.
Speaker A:I can't do anything with my.
Speaker A:With my hand because I can just about move my fingers.
Speaker A:I can't grab anything with the hand as soon as I put any weight on it.
Speaker A:I tried, actually, the other day.
Speaker A:The other day yesterday, I tried holding a knife in my hand because I just forgot.
Speaker A:You know, it's amazing how many times you go to try and use your hand and don't realize.
Speaker A:I tried holding a knife because I.
Speaker A:I made.
Speaker A:I made steaks for the boy because the girl is currently away with school and he was missing her.
Speaker A:So one of his favorite foods is steak.
Speaker A:He's really got into it lately.
Speaker A:So I made steak.
Speaker A:I say I made steak.
Speaker A:We made steak.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:I basically held the pan still while he did everything else.
Speaker A:He really likes cooking as well, so he's really into cooking.
Speaker A:So it's.
Speaker A:That's actually been really good because we've been able to cook together.
Speaker A:It's been nice and he's learning some new techniques and things like that that normally I wouldn't have time to show him or probably not time maybe, I suppose in reality patience to show him because I'm usually cooking tea to get him.
Speaker A:To get them fed rather than, rather than from.
Speaker A:For enjoyment, I suppose.
Speaker A:But we've actually cooked for enjoyment this, this last couple of weeks because we've had the time.
Speaker A:But yeah, I tried holding a.
Speaker A:To cut my steak.
Speaker A:That was a bad idea.
Speaker A:My arm was killing all the way up, all the way to my elbow for hours afterwards.
Speaker A:I had to take additional painkillers.
Speaker A:In terms of the surgery, there is, there is one really good part of surgery that I.
Speaker A:I've.
Speaker A:I've had this before because I've had like medical procedures before where I've had to be knocked out.
Speaker A:Never like an operation like this.
Speaker A:But it's the toast that they give you afterwards.
Speaker A:It is the best toast.
Speaker A:What is it about hospital toast?
Speaker A:It's amazing.
Speaker A:I've also got something a little bit more fun this week because I think we could all do with some more fun.
Speaker A:I've had a lot of doom and gloom over the last few weeks, so I found.
Speaker A:I don't even remember how I found this.
Speaker A:I probably saw it on Reddit is more than likely because, you know, that's where I see most of the things that I.
Speaker A:That I see.
Speaker A:I found a list of words of wisdom from children.
Speaker A:These are just things that children have learned over the years and, well, you'll get the idea.
Speaker A:There are.
Speaker A:There are 19 of them.
Speaker A:Weird.
Speaker A:Number.
Speaker A:I don't know why.
Speaker A:I don't know why.
Speaker A:There's not 20, but there are 19 of them.
Speaker A:So number one, this is from Patrick, age 10.
Speaker A:Never trust a dog to watch your food.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Number two, this one's from Michael, age 14.
Speaker A:When your dad is mad and asks, do I look stupid, don't answer him.
Speaker A:Number three, also from Michael, 14.
Speaker A:Never tell your mum her diet's not working.
Speaker A:Number four is from Randy, age nine.
Speaker A:Stay away from prunes.
Speaker A:Number five from Robert, age 13.
Speaker A:Never pee on an electric fence.
Speaker A:I can imagine that's not.
Speaker A:Not a good one.
Speaker A:Number six, the Rona, age 13.
Speaker A:Don't squat with your spurs on.
Speaker A:Ow.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Number seven from Emily, age 10.
Speaker A:Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to.
Speaker A:No, you always pull dad's finger.
Speaker A:Number eight from Talia, age 11.
Speaker A:When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Number nine, Tracy, 14.
Speaker A:Never allow your three year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.
Speaker A:Oh, no.
Speaker A:Number 10 from Mitchell, age 12.
Speaker A:Don't sneeze in front of mum when you're eating crackers.
Speaker A:Yeah, crackers everywhere.
Speaker A:Number 11, Andrew, age 9.
Speaker A:Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic Tac.
Speaker A:Number 12, Kyoyo, age 9.
Speaker A:Never hold a DustBuster and a Cat at the same time.
Speaker A:Oh, man, that reminds me of a time when one of my friends was visiting and we had a cat and I, she brought her dog and I didn't know she was bringing the dog and she turned up at the door.
Speaker A:I opened the door and the dog's there.
Speaker A:I was like, let me just go and make sure the cat is somewhere safe because.
Speaker A:All right, as I walked away, cat's side, the kitchen, picked the cat up.
Speaker A:She decided to follow me in, didn't she?
Speaker A:Instead of waiting outside until I'd moved, the cat opens up the turns around, cat sees dog.
Speaker A:Cat instantly attaches itself to my arm, digs its nails in or his claws in and starts going like I'm swinging my arm around trying to get it off.
Speaker A:Oh, it was, it was very difficult.
Speaker A:I'm like, get out, get out, get the dog out.
Speaker A:The cat eventually calmed down.
Speaker A:I was able to pry it off my arm and then off and.
Speaker A:Oh yeah, that was, that was not a good day for, for cats digging in your arm pain.
Speaker A:Number 13, Amir, number nine, age nine.
Speaker A:Not number nine.
Speaker A:You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Speaker A:Oh, no, you can't.
Speaker A:Number 14 from Kelly, age 11.
Speaker A:Don't wear polka dot underwear under white shorts.
Speaker A:Yep, don't do that.
Speaker A:Number 15 from Naomi, age 15.
Speaker A:If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Number 16 from Lauren, age 9.
Speaker A:Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
Speaker A:Oh, no.
Speaker A:Number 17, Joel, age 10.
Speaker A:Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
Speaker A:Good advice.
Speaker A:Number 18, Alicia, 13.
Speaker A:When you get backgraded school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.
Speaker A:Yeah, that would probably work with me, actually.
Speaker A:Number 19 from Eileen, age eight.
Speaker A:The final one.
Speaker A:Never tried to baptize a cat.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Never ever try to baptize a cat because I assume you'll end up in a very similar.
Speaker A:Similar.
Speaker A:A very similar situation to what I ended up in this week.
Speaker A:I have a question from Zoe.
Speaker A:Zoe says, dear Diggy, if you could erase one food from existence just because you personally don't like it.
Speaker A:What are you banishing forever?
Speaker A:I think everybody already knows this.
Speaker A:I've probably already technically answered this on the show before, but it would be eggs.
Speaker A:Anything egg related.
Speaker A:Get out.
Speaker A:Get in the sea, as they say.
Speaker A:I don't think I need any more explanation there.
Speaker A:Eggs are evil.
Speaker A:They are the worst food in the world and they need to be gone.
Speaker A:That's all for this week.
Speaker A:Don't forget to check out Fluxo Media to see more of my stuff, including links to all my social media accounts.
Speaker A:And it's also where you can join Vaza Freebie plus, of course.
Speaker A:I'm not going to just end there, am I?
Speaker A:I have a joke for you.
Speaker A:I was reading earlier today on the news, actually, that they they just banned laughing in Hawaii.
Speaker A:They now only allow aloha.
