Episode 87

full
Published on:

19th Jun 2025

BalloonFest 86: Celebrating a Record or a Cautionary Tale?

Strap in for a wild ride through chaotic hospital visits, airborne fundraising disasters, and philosophical questions about the value of metal. Oh—and someone may have prank-called a stranger 30 times from the bath.

This week’s highlights include:


💨 Make Me Laugh:

  • A prehistoric punchline from the host’s daughter: “What do you call a fossilized fart?”


🎈 PodTales – BalloonFest ‘86:

  • The United Way’s record-breaking balloon release over Cleveland.
  • 1.5 million balloons in the sky—what could possibly go wrong? (Answer: everything.)
  • Environmental chaos, a disrupted Coast Guard search, lawsuits, spooked horses, and an airport runway shut down.


🏥 Hospital Waiting Room Mayhem:

  • A final wrist check-up turns into a full-blown admin disaster.


🛁 Sound Healing & Accidental Prank Calls:


  • Can oat baths and ambient audio soothe chronic urticaria?
  • Also, how to (accidentally) call a stranger 30 times using a £4 bathroom speaker.


🚲 Bike Rack Fiasco:


  • The kids finally learn to ride—but the new bike rack only fits adult bikes.
  • A “universal fit” turns into a universal fail.
  • Some bonus DIY and mild rage included.


💎 A Very Pricey Charm:


  • A trip to Pandora reveals the shocking truth: numbers cost more than hearts.
  • I channel my inner grumpy economist and questions reality.


📬 Dear Diggy & New Website Alert:


  • No Dear Diggy this week—send yours in via the brand new site!
  • 🖥️ BugFixesAndImprovements.com is live!
  • Submit jokes, Pod Tales, questions for Draft, or just marvel at the fancy redesign.


🎧 Members Only Bonus:


Stick around for the secret subscriber-only story: “How I Got Banned From a Charity Shop.”


Want to be part of the show?

Visit BugFixesAndImprovements.com to submit your:

  • Make Me Laugh jokes
  • Podtales suggestions
  • Dear Diggy questions
  • Draft topics


Contact:


📩 hello@bugfixesandimprovements.com

Transcript
Speaker A:

What happens when you set off one and a half million balloons over Cleveland, Ohio?

Speaker A:

Can my very own daughter make me laugh?

Speaker A:

And how long will I sit and wait in a hospital?

Speaker A:

And how much is a piece of metal?

Speaker A:

For answers to questions such as these, stay tuned to that's a Freebie.

Speaker A:

Sit back, relax, unless you're driving, it's time for that's a Freebie.

Speaker A:

As always, I am going to open up the show with a Make me Laugh submission.

Speaker A:

This submission is from my very own daughter.

Speaker A:

She says, what do you call a fossilized fart?

Speaker A:

A blast from the past.

Speaker A:

Yeah, it made me laugh a lot more at the time.

Speaker A:

I think it's a pretty good joke.

Speaker A:

Let's move on to some pod tales.

Speaker A:

This week we're going to be talking about BalloonFest 86.

Speaker A:

What is BalloonFest 86?

Speaker A:

You might say well.

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,:

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Organized by the United Way of Cleveland, the goal was to set a world record by releasing nearly 1.5 million helion filmed balloons into the sky.

Speaker A:

While the event achieved its record breaking aim, it also led to some unforeseen consequences that turned the celebration into a cautionary tale.

Speaker A:

As always, these things never go right.

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Preparations for Balloon Fest 86 involve 2, 500 volunteers, many of whom were high school students.

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They filled balloons with helium and secured them under a massive net measuring about 250ft by 150ft and rising three stories high, set up in Cleveland's Public Square.

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Originally, the plan was to release 2 million balloons, but the count was eventually capped at around 1.5 million.

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Children sold sponsorships for the balloons at a rate of a dollar for every two balloons, with proceeds benefiting United Way.

Speaker A:

On the day of the event, with a rainstorm approaching, organizers decided to release the balloons earlier than planned.

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At approximately 1:50pm EDT, a crowd of over 100, 000 people gathered to witness the spectacle as the balloons ascended, surrounding Cleveland's Terminal Tower and creating a vivid display by that surpassed a world record set by the previous year at Disneyland.

Speaker A:

Typically, helium filled latex balloons ascend and eventually deflate before ascending back to earth.

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However, the balloons released during balloon fest 86 encountered a front of cold air and rain, causing them to descend while still inflated.

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This led to widespread littering across northeast Ohio, with balloons clogging land of waterways.

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In the following days, many balloons were reported washed ashore on the Canadian side of Lake Erie, raising environmental concerns.

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The event also interfered with a United States Coast Guard search of for two fishermen, Raymond Broderick and Bernard Sulza, who had gone missing on Lake Erie, the multitude of balloons on the water's surface made it difficult for rescuers to distinguish between balloons and potential human heads.

Speaker A:

Oh.

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Hampering the search efforts.

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The fisherman's bodies were later found washed ashore.

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Subsequently, the wife of one fishermen sued the United Way of Cleveland and the company that organized the balloon release for $3.2 billion.

Speaker A:

The case was settled on undisclosed terms.

Speaker A:

Yeah, I absolutely don't blame her for that because surely they would know that the search was happening and they should have stopped.

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Good grief.

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Additionally, balloons landing on a pasture in Medina County, Ohio, spooked Arabian horses owned by Louise Nowakowski, allegedly causing permanent injuries to the animals.

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Nowakowski sued the United Way of CLE Cleveland for $100,000 in damages.

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This case was also settled for undisclosed terms.

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The influx of balloons led to the temporary closure of a Runway at Burke Lakefront Airport and caused multiple traffic collisions as distract as.

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As dist drivers.

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As drivers were distracted or they attempted to avoid the descending balloons.

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e event was recognized in the:

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However, Guinness no longer measures balloon releases due to environmental concerns.

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Balloon Fest 86 has since been studied as an example of unintended consequences in event planning and environmental impact.

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event was the subject of the:

Speaker A:

Well, that is crazy.

Speaker A:

They say unintended consequences, but I don't think that would have been too hard to predict, to be honest.

Speaker A:

Maybe, maybe it's hindsight, maybe it's that it's been many, many years since it was attempted and things have changed in the world and we are more environmentally conscious.

Speaker A:

But I feel like that could have all been predicted.

Speaker A:

All right, let's have a catch up.

Speaker A:

So first on my list of catch up topics is my final trip to the hospital regarding my wrist injury.

Speaker A:

Yeah, it's been ongoing for a while.

Speaker A:

You all know about it.

Speaker A:

If you don't know about it, go and listen to the previous like five or six episodes of the podcast.

Speaker A:

It's probably not that many.

Speaker A:

It's probably two or three and you will be able to get caught up.

Speaker A:

But essentially what happened is I went for my final checkup.

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What was supposed to happen is I was supposed to get to the hospital, I was supposed to have an X ray and they were going to check it and make sure that everything was healing correctly.

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But here's what actually happened.

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I got to the hospital half an hour early because I always arrive everywhere early.

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We've discussed this before.

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I potted around, I had myself a coffee.

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I walked into reception five minutes before my appointment is due because I also don't want to be the person that arrives early and is sat in the waiting room, because I know that's annoying.

Speaker A:

So I, I gets there, I sit down and usually they say, oh, can you go down to X ray?

Speaker A:

Nobody asked me to go down to X ray.

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Which I thought was a bit odd, but I didn't say anything.

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I wish I did, but I didn't.

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So I'm sat there and time was passing by and I noticed that the waiting room was getting busier and busier and busier to the point where nobody could sit down.

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And I've never seen it like this before.

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People were stood lining the halls and I mean a lot of people.

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Like this waiting room is designed to hold about 30 people.

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I think there was at least twice that in there at one point.

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I'm sat there waiting.

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There were three doctors on because they have the name on the board.

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And the doctors kept coming out and grabbing someone, but only two of them.

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One of them was walking around in circles doing laps of the.

Speaker A:

Of the ward.

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I knew he was the doctor because he's the person I've seen many times before.

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I say, doctor, he's a surgeon.

Speaker A:

He's actually the surgeon that did my operation.

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That's how I knew I was there to see him.

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And I recognized him.

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And he kept walking down the corridor and I could see him walking all the way to the other end of the corridor, walking round and then coming back again.

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And each, each rotation of the corridor took him about five minutes.

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So we kept seeing him popping his head past.

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He did, he didn't do it constantly.

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Sometimes he would go for like 10 minutes without being seen, but he kept doing it and I thought it was a bit odd.

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I was like, what's he waiting for?

Speaker A:

Why have I not been seen yet?

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And I'm looking around and you could tell other people were getting a bit and see that they'd not been seen yet.

Speaker A:

Anyway, an hour had passed and we're all still waiting now on the board, in at the front.

Speaker A:

It does actually have expected wait times and the expected wait time was actually an hour.

Speaker A:

So at this point we were probably all thinking, well, yeah, it's kind of expected, so not an issue.

Speaker A:

But no, we kept wandering around and then what happened is on the hour, the person at reception, there's actually two reception desks as the reception desk where you check in, and then the reception desk that allocates the patients to the doctor and sends you down for your X rays and things like that, sort of one on the inside, one on the outside is the inside one that changed over.

Speaker A:

So the first person left, the second person came on and you could tell everybody was giving the second person a bit of a side eye to see, to see what they did.

Speaker A:

And we all noticed, or I certainly noticed that she kept looking at everybody as if to say, what's going on here?

Speaker A:

Like looking up and then looking at a screen and they're looking up at the waiting room, looking back at a screen.

Speaker A:

And then she sort of put her hand on her head, shook her head and got up and she came walking over to the waiting room.

Speaker A:

She went, everybody, I think there might be a problem.

Speaker A:

Can I just get everybody's name?

Speaker A:

So she got a pen and paper and went round grabbing, you know, taking names off everybody.

Speaker A:

Then she went back to the computer and she tapped away for about 10 minutes or so.

Speaker A:

And then while she's doing it, the doctor had made his.

Speaker A:

Is one of his.

Speaker A:

Sorry, the surgeon had made one of his.

Speaker A:

His rounds.

Speaker A:

And he walks up to the desk and says, hello.

Speaker A:

Anyway.

Speaker A:

And she went, hi.

Speaker A:

And you could tell she was like, hi, I'm busy, kind of thing, you know, just carried on tapping away.

Speaker A:

And he said, well, I hope it, I hope it gets a bit busier this afternoon.

Speaker A:

And she, she looked at him and you could tell this was the point where she thought, are you kidding me?

Speaker A:

She looked at him and she went, you what?

Speaker A:

He went, nobody's turned up for the last hour.

Speaker A:

It's really unusual.

Speaker A:

That never happens.

Speaker A:

And she looked at the waiting room and pointed at the waiting room and she went, who do you think all they are?

Speaker A:

And he went, well, none of them are mine because none of them have been checked in.

Speaker A:

But I overheard this conversation.

Speaker A:

It's that moment I was like, oh, no.

Speaker A:

And she went, no, they're all yours.

Speaker A:

And it turned out that the previous person hadn't been checking everybody incorrectly.

Speaker A:

They've been taking the names and not actually marking them as here, however it happens.

Speaker A:

I don't know, I have no idea how the system worked, but she'd been sort of clicking one button when she should have been clicking another or something like that.

Speaker A:

So she, she, she told us what had happened.

Speaker A:

She said, look, I'm really sorry if it's been a mistake.

Speaker A:

None of you've been checked in for your appointments, but we will get you all seen.

Speaker A:

And then all of a sudden, about 12 doctors just appeared from nowhere.

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Just grabbed.

Speaker A:

Started grabbing people, just calling people's names out.

Speaker A:

So I went with a different person who I was expected, which I was kind of glad at, because I don't actually like the surgeon who did my operation.

Speaker A:

He's a bit rude.

Speaker A:

He doesn't answer any questions.

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He's just a bit short and not for that.

Speaker A:

So I went with this other guy.

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Turned out he was exactly the same.

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So we sits down in the room, and I swear we sat down.

Speaker A:

He said, can you bend your arm?

Speaker A:

And I went, yeah, but it's my wrist.

Speaker A:

And he went, oh, can you bend your wrist?

Speaker A:

So I put my wrist forward.

Speaker A:

And I said, not all the way.

Speaker A:

And he said, okay, perfect.

Speaker A:

And he's got an X ray up on the screen.

Speaker A:

Anyway.

Speaker A:

He said, yeah, I can see by your X ray that everything's healing okay.

Speaker A:

And I said, well, where did you get that X ray?

Speaker A:

And he said, it's the X ray that you did earlier today.

Speaker A:

I haven't done an X ray yet.

Speaker A:

Nobody sent me for one.

Speaker A:

That's the whole problem.

Speaker A:

Nobody's actually done anything.

Speaker A:

And he went, oh, oh, let me have a look.

Speaker A:

He went, oh, yeah, this is from the day of your surgery.

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I can see that everything was set correctly.

Speaker A:

So, yeah, that's great.

Speaker A:

It's all healing okay, you can move it.

Speaker A:

And I was like, but I can't move it.

Speaker A:

Look.

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And I showed him the movement difficulties I was having.

Speaker A:

And he went, oh, yeah, that'll be fine, though.

Speaker A:

This whole conversation lasted 30 seconds.

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And he said, right, off you go.

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We're going to discharge you now.

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I was like, but I've got questions.

Speaker A:

He's like, what are your questions?

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And I asked him a whole bunch of questions on things I could do, and he said, oh, I don't know the answers to those.

Speaker A:

I'm not a surgeon.

Speaker A:

So, like, well, I'm here to see the surgeon.

Speaker A:

And he said, yeah, that's not possible right now.

Speaker A:

Like, brilliant.

Speaker A:

So in the end, I gave up.

Speaker A:

I just ended up going because I couldn't hang on any longer.

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I'd been there an hour already.

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Very frustrating.

Speaker A:

But either way, it's done.

Speaker A:

I'm signed off.

Speaker A:

The movement's getting better.

Speaker A:

I guess we'll have to wait and see for how the rest of the year goes.

Speaker A:

The only weird thing I've got is I'VE noticed that on the opposite side to where the brake is or the break was, I have a lot more hair on my arm than I used to have.

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Like, it's thicker and it's just in that one patch.

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Like it's like you'd expect people to have maybe a, a patch where there's less hair.

Speaker A:

But I've got way more hair in that one little patch.

Speaker A:

It's really bizarre.

Speaker A:

But yeah, that was the final trip to the hospital.

Speaker A:

So finally that's over with.

Speaker A:

Now whenever I get a flare up of my chronic urticaria, one of the best things to do is just have a, a cool bath, not a cold bath, a cool bath, which is obviously difficult because you can't stay in it for too long because you end up getting too cold.

Speaker A:

One of the problems I have is I, I get bored very quickly when I'm in the bath.

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Like two minutes I can be in there and I'm like, right, I've had to wash, that's it, time to get out.

Speaker A:

But I need to soak when I'm in there.

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And I, I have like an oat bath treatment that I put in.

Speaker A:

It's essentially you're soaking in oats, you turn it, you turn yourself into a bit of a porridge.

Speaker A:

I always get bored and I can't put my hearing aids in because obviously it's wet, blah, blah, blah.

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So I decided finally to get myself a bathroom speaker.

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And it's just a little thing with a suction cup on it.

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Costs like 4 quid off Amazon or something like that.

Speaker A:

And I decided to give it a go.

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I set it all up.

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I'm trying to work out what all the buttons do.

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And there's one button on it that I just couldn't work out what it was doing.

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And I kept pressing it and nothing would happen.

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I pressed again.

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Nothing to happen.

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It wasn't until I walked back to where my phone was, I realized what it actually does is dial the last dial number on your phone.

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I kept, I can't even remember who it was, but somebody got a phone call from me over and over again because I kept pressing that button.

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It must have been about 30 times, me trying to work it.

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I was holding it down, I was pressing it two times fast, three times fast.

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Eventually I realized that it was actually just calling the last person I called.

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So nobody's complained yet.

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And it was, it was like a number that wasn't my address book.

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I don't even know who it was.

Speaker A:

I don't even know if it was the last of bride called on.

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My last missed call.

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Either way.

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Yep.

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Kept calling somebody randomly.

Speaker A:

But you might think listeners that listen to the show regularly that, oh, brilliant, you had a flare up.

Speaker A:

Now is the time to try sound healing, which we talked about.

Speaker A:

I think on the last show.

Speaker A:

You're right, it was a good opportunity to try out sound healing.

Speaker A:

So what I did, I.

Speaker A:

I got in my old bath, I played the sound, I put endel on and I played.

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I think it was like the relax sound soundscape that they have.

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It did seem to work.

Speaker A:

I'm not 100% sure if it worked or if it was just a combination of taking additional tablets and having an oat bath that solved it.

Speaker A:

But usually when I have a flare up and I've, you know, I've not missed any tablets, then it usually means it's going to be lasting for weeks and weeks and it didn't.

Speaker A:

It only lasted for that one day.

Speaker A:

Maybe I found a workaround for the problem and it will.

Speaker A:

It will start getting better.

Speaker A:

So, yeah, I'll report more as more happens.

Speaker A:

I did as well.

Speaker A:

I am getting attacked by flies today.

Speaker A:

They are everywhere in this house.

Speaker A:

I don't know why.

Speaker A:

They are driving me insane.

Speaker A:

I did also buy a new bike rack for the car because we wanted to take the kids out on the bikes but we.

Speaker A:

We don't live near enough somewhere that we can just ride there on the bikes because they are not confident enough yet to just ride down the street and are on the road more accur accurately.

Speaker A:

They've both recently learned how to ride their bikes.

Speaker A:

It's been quite a long process of getting them to that point, but they're there now.

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They both can ride them as long as they've got plenty of space.

Speaker A:

I don't know if they're very good at stopping yet.

Speaker A:

So anyway, I bought this bike rack.

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A friend sent me a picture of one that was selling in Aldi and I was like, yep, I'll get that.

Speaker A:

So I came to build it and there were no instructions with it.

Speaker A:

Other there were instructions with it, but they just showed it complete and where each part was, not how to get each part in the right position.

Speaker A:

And it's a bit of an awkward thing to build.

Speaker A:

And there seemed to be loads of straps that you put on it and it turned out that they weren't necessary in the end.

Speaker A:

They were.

Speaker A:

They were for a different fit of car.

Speaker A:

But it kept referring to these hooks, so you got rubber hooks and it kept referring to them as straps and it took Me a long time to work out that they were referring to something else and anyway managing it.

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So I built this bike racket but it, it took me a long time.

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It took me, I think it took me about an hour and a half.

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It certainly took me at least an hour.

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But some, some of it was just, you know, reading the instructions that I had over and over again trying to make sense of them.

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But anyway, I put it all together.

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I attached it to the car.

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It turns out it didn't quite fit my car.

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It's supposed to be universal, but it didn't quite fit it in the way as it is expected.

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So I had to do a little bit of modification.

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But I got there in the end and it was solid.

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I was, I was pulling myself up on the bike rack trying to make sure that it was as solid as it could be.

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I obviously didn't want the bikes fall.

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Falling off.

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And then came the part where I put the bike on.

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Blushed the bike up.

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Got to put it on.

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It didn't fit.

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At no point did it occur to me that there might be different size bike racks for children's bikes and for adults bikes.

Speaker A:

This bike rack only fits adult bikes.

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It doesn't fit children's bikes.

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So I couldn't even get the biggest of the two bikes to fit.

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It was way off.

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There wasn't even a like a way of just making it work kind of thing.

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It just wasn't happening.

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So that was a waste of time.

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We're going to keep the back rack anyway because as the kids get a little bit older they are probably going to need, well, we will need a bigger bike rack to fit the, the bigger bikes on.

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And also it means we can, we can put our own bikes on there as maybe as a day out for us when the kids aren't there.

Speaker A:

That, that's, that was the rationalization for keeping it that.

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I had one final catch up story this week.

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More of a, a surprise more than anything.

Speaker A:

It was recently one of my friends or one of my godchilds or God children.

Speaker A:

How do you say it?

Speaker A:

Child?

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Children.

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Either one, it doesn't matter.

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18th birthday.

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And so we decided that we were going to buy her a, a charm for her Pandora bracelet for her 18th birthday with, with an 18 on it.

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I went into Pandora.

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I said I would like a charm with 18 on it please.

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And they have one.

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They only do one.

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It is 50 pound.

Speaker A:

Fine.

Speaker A:

Don't mind spending that much for an 18th birthday.

Speaker A:

That's okay.

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But as I'm, as she's Bagging it up.

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I'm looking at them and I noticed that the ones next to it were £20, right?

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But they were bigger, they had more material.

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So I couldn't help myself.

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I said, I said, why is this piece of metal 50 pound and that piece of metal's 20 pounds?

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And she said, oh, well, this one's worth more.

Speaker A:

So I said, oh, are they different metals?

Speaker A:

And she went, no, no, they're both silver.

Speaker A:

I was like, right, okay, so they're both the same metal.

Speaker A:

And she's like, yeah.

Speaker A:

I went, and this one next to it here is bigger and that one's cheaper.

Speaker A:

And she's like, yeah.

Speaker A:

So I'm like, well, that doesn't make sense because metals, the price of metals is based on the quantity of the metal, not the.

Speaker A:

Not.

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Not some arbitrary value that you've assigned to it.

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And I knew I was being a bit of an annoying person, let's say, but I couldn't, I couldn't help it.

Speaker A:

It kind of annoyed me.

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And.

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And she said, well, yeah, but this one's an 18th birthday one.

Speaker A:

That.

Speaker A:

That one's just a heart.

Speaker A:

And I was like, yeah, but why is that piece of metal worth 30 pound more?

Speaker A:

Because it's a number than this piece of metal that's got more metal in it.

Speaker A:

And it's a.

Speaker A:

It's a.

Speaker A:

Supposedly a precious metal, so it's one that is worth more money.

Speaker A:

It doesn't make sense.

Speaker A:

So that tells me that none of these are even worth probably even 20 pound because of the profit that you're making on it.

Speaker A:

She just looks at me, she went, do you want it?

Speaker A:

I was like, yeah, yeah, okay, I do.

Speaker A:

Thank you.

Speaker A:

And I was like, I'm just, I'm just trying to make a point, but I'm also, yeah, being a bit of an ass.

Speaker A:

So I, in the end, I gave up and I just took the piece of metal, which was a bit annoying, to be honest, because I do think it's a ridiculous amount of money to charge, especially when you're getting less metal.

Speaker A:

That's what annoyed me the most.

Speaker A:

Anyway, let's move on.

Speaker A:

Here is usually where I would have Dear Diggy.

Speaker A:

But nobody has wrote in this week to say Dear Diggy.

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So if you want to write in, it is worth pointing out that now you can go to the new website.

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And I know I do this often, but this is the final version of it now.

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Fluxo Media just wasn't sitting right with me.

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I.

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There's a whole bunch of reasons.

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There is actually a blog post on the new website explaining why I changed it.

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And there's a whole new design because I've decided to go a little bit of a different way with how I'm going to publish the website and the, the blog that's on there and everything.

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But the new website is Bug Fixes and improvements dot com.

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And if you forget that, you could also just email me at hello at Bug fixes and improvements dot com.

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But if you can remember the email address, you could probably remember the website.

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Do take a look at the website.

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There are blog posts on there.

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There's going to be way more.

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I've got many planned.

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Take a look.

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You can obviously on there, you can, you can do.

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You can write to me with a Dear Diggy.

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You can send a make me laugh question.

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You can submit your own topics for Pod Tales.

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You can even submit topics for my up and coming podcast draft, which that's a freebie.

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Plus members got to hear in the previous episode, so do that for now.

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I do believe that is all for this episode of that's a Freebie.

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Obviously.

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Stay tuned if you're a member because I have got one more story and it's a story about how I got myself banned from a charity shop.

Listen for free

Show artwork for That's A Free Bee

About the Podcast

That's A Free Bee

Hey, I’m Diggy! Join me as I share the highs, lows, and everyday moments of my life. 

Sometimes funny, sometimes serious, always relatable. We’ll explore the similarities and differences in our lives, finding unexpected connections. 

Plus, I dive into intriguing, funny, and entertaining topics that catch my interest. 

Tune in for a mix of personal stories and fascinating insights. Let’s discover the unexpected together!